Sunday, June 22, 2008

So I've decided...

Someone should totally do a sequel to Baby Sitters Club. Does anyone remember that show??? It was on TV tonight and I watched it...totally random right? But I used to read those books allll the time. Or what about that "So Weird" show?? Or my personal favorite, "Flash Forward" with Tucker, he was so cute...and that was the start of the beautiful Ryan Gosling. Bug Juice..."Real Kids havin fun...makin friends..." that was part of the theme song. I totally forgot about those show but man the BSC is bringin' it allll back. I think they should have 90's show reunion or something.

Oh and also...I would definitely check out Weezer's new album, the red album. Its definitely a must personal favorites are...


Miss Sweeney

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived

Those three are AWESOME. Especially the last one. I love it. And I love them. And I love YOU. pEACE Out.

Monday, June 16, 2008

His light...

The Room...
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had The time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.
One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't mattered now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.
I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive.
The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written

Tonight, I attended a memorial service for a young man that was in my ward, Travis Alexander...or should I say Alexander the Great. I was only an acquaintance but he has left a lasting impression on my life. It was a beautiful service and the spirit there was amazing. I know that Jesus Christ lives and is mindful of us always. I have felt that more in the last year then ever before. I am so grateful to have known Travis the Great.

Moroni 8:3
I am mindful of you always in my prayers, continually praying unto God the Father in the name of his Holy Child, Jesus, that he, through his infinite goodness and grace, will keep you through the endurance of faith on his name to the end.

My favorite summer far...

I listen to this album every single day and I love it. And I love him. MMMHHHMMM.
Its Monday...Joy.

Friday, June 13, 2008

I know I know...its been a while eh?

Well I wish I could say that I have a good excuse for not updating this thing more often. Its been over a month and well...nothing too new. I love life right now though, even with the repitition of it all. I have to admit that one thing or maybe its three things that have consumed my life for the past month and a half. Twilight...New Moon...and Eclipse. Yep. I'm hooked. I read all three books in 4 days and have now read all three...three times. I need help...anyone who knows about this addiction and can help me out by at least talking about these amazing books...comment? AAAHHH. Seriously though, I recommend these books...only if you can manage at least 3 hours of sleep a night because you will not want to put this thing down. I think about it all day and dream about it at night. You see....pure addiction right now. ANYWAY...onto semi-important things..

I went to Disneyland this past weekend and it was AMAZING. My sister Lisa and I have been planning this trip to Disneyland with her girls for the past month...but it was a surprise to her girls until we made it to our Hotel and the big Mickey statue in the middle of the lobby gave it away. I give props to good ol' Walt for being able to make my very...whats the word...harsh? abrasive? fun-lacking sister like a kid again. If anyone has met my sister, they know what I'm talking about. I have never seen this woman smile and laugh so much. I was in a state of shock the first day I was there because she was crackin' jokes left and right and overall just having a great time. I love that about Disney. I'd have to say that is my favorite thing...reminising of the days I used to think I was Ariel or Princess Aurora...or of course Belle. I just remember when I was little, all I would watch was The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty. I watched practically every Disney movies but those were the two that didn't live as long as the others. My bad. It was so fun seeing my neices reactions to the parade, fantasmic, and of course the fireworks! The fireworks were insane! It was beautiful! Ok ok...I could go on and on but I wont.

Things are going really well though, I cannot complain. I have been working out with my trainer for almost two months now and I love it. So far...I have lost 12 lbs and 41/2 inches and a lot of other numbers that are too complicated. I get measured/weighed again on Saturday. I seriously love it though, I pretty much have to talk myself through everytime but it is so worth it. I can't go without it now. Anyyyways there is an update. Enjoy the pics...until then. Peace&LOVE.

Me and Ceci gettin' ready for Indiana Jones

Good times.

No joke...he hugged me. Oh it was beautiful. AH.

There are more pics on facebook/myspace. But I suck putting pictures on here. If anyone knows any helpful me please.